Tenderized

Women become wise slowly. It begins when we pause to look plainly at all the ways life went wrong, or sideways, or simply stopped being kind. But more importantly, all the ways it lifted, tenderized, and directed our own course.

We grow wise from the inside: through the thousand and one betrayals that forced our adaptation and disillusionment; from the courage to walk away from partnerships built on false foundations; from the patience of allowing the same tender lessons of life to touch those who betrayed our hearts—and that includes ourselves.   

There’s a powerful prayer I learned in graduate school—the Gestalt prayer (see Fritz Perls) which goes like this:

"I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.

If not, it can't be helped."


The medicine of life is there for all of us. Until you’ve been tenderized by life herself, you cannot fathom the kindness of community, nor the joy of simply being as the most powerful, reliable, and sustainable strategies for living, serving, and for creating the beautiful and the good in this world. Only the wise can be kind. 







By Mayra Porrata | comments: mayra@solarapublishing.com ©2026 Solara Publishing, LLC

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