Tenderized
Women become wise slowly. It begins when we pause to look
plainly at all the ways life went wrong, or sideways, or simply stopped being kind.
But more importantly, all the ways it lifted, tenderized, and directed our own course.
We grow wise from the inside: through the thousand and one betrayals
that forced our adaptation and disillusionment; from the courage to walk away
from partnerships built on false foundations; from the patience of allowing the
same tender lessons of life to touch those who betrayed our hearts—and that
includes ourselves.
There’s a powerful prayer I learned in graduate school—the Gestalt
prayer (see Fritz Perls) which goes like this:
"I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each
other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped."
The medicine of life is there for all of us. Until you’ve been tenderized by
life herself, you cannot fathom the kindness of community, nor the joy of simply
being as the most powerful, reliable, and sustainable strategies for living,
serving, and for creating the beautiful and the good in this world. Only the
wise can be kind.

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