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Showing posts with the label grief recovery

Sweet darkness

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I was introduced to the work of David Whyte in the 1990's-- in corporate America of all places.  At the time, I was a young project manager in a leadership development rotation through our training and development department.  My primary mentors, three profoundly generous and wise women took me under their wings like the baby bird that I was. Each of them not only  illuminated the technical aspects of adult learning protocols and processes, but who they were as human beings. It was a life and career altering rotation to say the least.    As a young professional I hardly had the depth nor maturity to understand what David Whyte was talking about or what most of it meant. But when this poem, Sweet Darkness re-found me in 2009 it both  haunted and changed my life. Today, I understand and have lived every single word and maybe you have too.   Sweet Darkness (in the collection The House of Belonging ) When your eyes are tired the world is tired ...

Tenderized

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Women become wise slowly. It begins when we pause to look plainly at all the ways life went wrong, or sideways, or simply stopped being kind. But more importantly, all the ways it lifted, tenderized, and directed our own course. We grow wise from the inside: through the thousand and one betrayals that forced our adaptation and disillusionment; from the courage to walk away from partnerships built on false foundations; from the patience of allowing the same tender lessons of life to touch those who betrayed our hearts—and that includes ourselves.    There’s a powerful prayer I learned in graduate school—the Gestalt prayer (see Fritz Perls) which goes like this: "I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped." The medicine of life is there for all of us. ...

Ordinary

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After my daughter's passing in 2018 life as I knew it ended. Period. And yet, as the days and weeks moved through me, new life, insights, and remembrances became a daily occurrence.  My body, nervous system, and brain were completely rewired-- updated somehow. Though I've always journaled, I had never written poems or even thought in poetic ways. My thinking and writing were normally mechanical, procedural, perhaps lifeless. And yet I suddenly found myself thinking and speaking in poetic ways. As a former academic and critical and 'serious thinker', the notion of writing soulful things felt ridiculous, even embarrassing. When I sent my draft of Until it happens to you to some of my colleagues, I was prepared for my fears to be validated. Instead, I was encouraged to publish it-- to share it.   Ordinary (below) was one of those fully-formed, downloads-- its punchline is not just mine, but yours too.  When the time comes when your beautiful body and mind are ...