Fixing vs feeling

There's a common tendency among many of us, self-included, the default to quickly fix or rescue someone or something instead of allowing ourselves the time (respect) of feeling our way to what is wise. 

Another way to describe this dynamic is control through the rescuing of others when radical compassion is what's called for instead. 

Compassion is a relationship between equals. This is timeless wisdom that took me many years to integrate and fully activate. What hindered me are the usual things: first-born daughter, overly-responsible, analytical, empathetic, spiritual, practical-- all the perfect ingredients that make someone efficient, dutiful, and sometimes an arrogant jerk-face. 

Fixing and control are common anxiety reducers. If you ever notice this tendency in yourself, you may find that the arrogance that first activated your "fixing muscle" was then followed by a number of unpleasant symptoms and sensations: resentment, exhaustion, false pride, and anger. 

While it's easy and rather convenient to blame the other person or situation, the fundamental 'error' came from YOU. [NOTE: I say 'error' quite tenderly because most of us who have a rescuing and fixing history don't do this out of malice, but out of sheer ignorance-- of our own emotional needs and landscape.]

All unproductive dynamics are severed/dissolved by one person; the first one who actually feels how it feels.  When we feel (like actually feel how it feels to us) we can then make adjustments and wiser choices that honor the soul's path of both. 



 



  
By Mayra Porrata ©2026 Solara Publishing, LLC
Location: United States

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